Germany Foils QAnon-Linked Terror Plot To Overthrow Government

German authorities arrested 25 suspected members of Reichsbürger, an extremist organization influenced by QAnon conspiracy theories that espouses a doctrine similar to that of far-right groups in the U.S, in an alleged plot to overthrow the government. What do you think? Read more…

God Kicking Self For Not Coming Up With Hentai

THE HEAVENS—The Lord God Almighty, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness, told reporters Friday he was still kicking Himself for not coming up with hentai on His own, saying the Japanese form of animated pornography represented everything He had hoped to capture in creation. “In all My divine work, My… Read more…

Americans React To Brittney Griner Returning Home From Russia

WNBA star Brittney Griner, who had been imprisoned for months in Russia for transporting cannabis vape cartridges, was released in a prisoner swap. The Onion asked Americans what they thought about the basketball player securing her freedom and returning home. Read more…

‘The Onion’ Has Accidentally Locked Ourselves Out Of Our Office In Solidarity With Striking ‘New York Times’ Workers

Today, reporters and editors of The New York Times began a one-day strike, as negotiations between their union and management failed to reach an agreement. Here at America’s Finest News Source, we are committed to supporting our fellow journalists, and so The Onion has boldly and inadvertently locked ourselves out of… Read more…

Elon Musk Worried He Won’t Have Enough Twitter Employees Left To Fire On Christmas Eve

SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing concern that he might have totally ruined the holiday season, Elon Musk reportedly worried Thursday that he wouldn’t have enough Twitter employees left to fire on Christmas Eve. “Gosh, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to parcel them out long enough to enjoy destroying a few of their lives on… Read… Continue reading Elon Musk Worried He Won’t Have Enough Twitter Employees Left To Fire On Christmas Eve

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