Children’s Museum Docent Reminds Guests Not To Touch The Kids

SALT LAKE CITY—In an effort to prevent any potential damage to the priceless collection, Layla Pehl, a docent at Discovery Gateway Children’s Museum, issued a reminder to guests Wednesday not to touch the kids. “I know there are a lot of fascinating youngsters on display, but please keep your hands to yourself at all… ReadContinue reading “Children’s Museum Docent Reminds Guests Not To Touch The Kids”

Report: Easiest Path To U.S. Visa Still Signing with Dallas Mavericks

DALLAS—Claiming the top spot for immigrant-hopefuls for an eighth consecutive year, Amnesty International released a report Wednesday which found that the easiest path to a U.S. work visa was still signing with the Dallas Mavericks. “Our findings show that the Dallas Mavericks account for 91% of Eastern European… Read more…

Theater Company’s Fundraising Email More Tragic Than Any Play It’s Ever Produced

NEW YORK—Managing to evoke unparalleled feelings of pity and fear in its audience, a fundraising email sent Wednesday from local theater company The Calliope Players was reportedly far more tragic than any of the plays it had ever produced. “It’s been a very challenging year, but we believe in our mission of hybrid… Read more…

Woman’s Anecdote About Boyfriend Getting Annoyed Undercut By Widespread Knowledge Of His Anger Issues

DAYTON, OH—Appearing oblivious to the fact that her friends were shifting uncomfortably in their seats as she spoke, local woman Annie McClellan shared an anecdote about her boyfriend getting annoyed that was undercut by widespread knowledge of the man’s anger issues, sources confirmed Tuesday. “You should have seen… Read more…